There is No Thing
by Max and Fern 4ever
Summary: Random stories from various seasons of NCIS Los Angeles Disclaimer: Anyone you recognize from the show, does not belong to me. If they did, things would have been a whole lot different
1. Chapter 1

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES HIATUS FIC CHALLENGE Theme 2: Season Seven Speculation - The challenge is to write a drabble, one-shot, or multi-chapter story about something you think might happen in season seven.**

Laying the first brick on the road to Repair is always the hardest.

The last time they sat in front of this desk, he remembered, " _Why do I feel we've been called into the principal's office?" "Have you done something wrong?" asked Hetty. "Well that could be a trick question" he smirked. Kensi inserted, "No! We've done nothing wrong." "Not that we know of, have we?" he answered._

It was a lighter, happier time. Kensi twirling her wedding set nervously, and that god awful kackle that he loved. "Those rings looked so perfect on her", he thought. Since then a roller coaster of moles, torture, tacos, frozen lakes, ghurkas, Afghanistan, torture, 3 hearts, knives. But in the end, a chance to be bold and they grabbed it. And except for Thapa dying, it had almost been perfect. He had found his home in her smile. And even with their team figuring out that their thing was real, work was going well.

Until today.

"You ignored my request" Hetty admonished. Kensi quick to defend answered, "Well we're partners and partners work together, so…". Deeks watched the exchange between them. Proud of his Kensi for standing up for them, and the sadness at the erosion of his relationship with Hetty. Once upon a time, he trusted her with everything. He missed the banter with her when he teased her that he knew he was her favorite. Late evening or early morning conversations on anything from books, to travel locations to past lives. But she committed the ultimate betrayal when she sent Kensi half a world away and let him think it was his fault.

"Detective Jacqueline Rivera, LAPD, Internal affairs. Why didn't you tell me?" Deeks asked as he slid her card across Hetty's desk. "I didn't want to worry you Mr. Deeks until I knew more." Was her answer. "Hmph, and so do you know more now" he asked? Hetty let out a sigh. "It would seem that the LAPD either on their own or with some outside influence have decided to open up an investigation into you." Kensi looking stunned asked "Why?, What for?" Hetty looked first at Kensi then to Deeks, "for now they seem to be playing their cards verrry close to the vest. But, make no mistake. They are hunting and they will use everything they have against you."

Kensi, whispered "me".

Hetty continued, "I will protect both the best I can. But, if there is anything else that the LAPD can use against you Mr. Deeks, NOW, is the time to speak up." He could hear the emphasis on the "p" when she finished.

Deeks had his chin in his hands, took a deep breath, raised his blue eyes, darker than usual and without their sparkle, looked straight in Hetty's eyes, without blinking and said, "there's nothing". Kensi tried not to be startled, but her head snapped to her partner at his response and said nothing. Hetty sighed, disappointed but understood the lack of trust. She deserved it, but it didn't make it hurt any less. She dismissed them with a warning to "mind the shadows". The partners left without another word spoken.

Kensi knew Deeks was hiding something. But she knew him well enough not to push. In the following weeks, they managed to ignored the elephant in their relationship. They had been busy chasing oil tankers to Russia among other things. At one point, Kensi snapped at Deeks for killing a suspect that was aiming a gun at her. That had not happened since before she was sent away. They needed to talk and she was willing to take the risk and push. Their relationship depended on it.

When they got back from Russia, she took advantage of a trip to the beach on a lazy weekend to broach the subject again. They were stretched out on towels, he was on his stomach reading, Monty lying between them. "Hey Marty?", she almost whispered, "Yeah", he mumbled, "I need a very special favor from you. I need you to trust me like you never have before and I need to know why you lied to Hetty."

His head dropped. He knew he could never fool her and actually surprised that she gave him that much space but he had felt the tension building between them and knew that he would have to talk to her about it even though he still wasn't sure what it could be that started the investigation. She could see him let out a slow breath, and look out toward the ocean. He didn't change positions, felt safer trying to gather his thoughts out of her view. "Kens, I have gone over everything that I could think of, but, I have spent the last 5 years with you and NCIS. And other than when you came to help with the human trafficking ring early on and the case with Fisk, I don't know what it could be unless it's related to them. Scarli was dirty cop, he tried to make LAPD believe that Jess was dirty, maybe it has to do with that. Lasik had deep pockets, maybe someone is trying drag me into that as payback. I admit that I have had to do things, walk the thin line, undercover. God knows Max Gentry has done things that were borderline. But you know me."

"I do know you" she says warmly, "but, I think we need Hetty's help or at least the Wonder Twins to start digging. I think you need to address the issues you have with Hetty. I think she has paid the price for what she did. None of us trust her like we used to. I have seen it age her and it's sad." Deeks knew she was right and he had seen it too. The warmth had slipped from Hetty's eyes. Even Callen doesn't staunchly defend her like he used to. Kensi was safe, they were together and maybe this was the last step of healing for all of them. Marty looked back at his beautiful partner, sat up and thanked her with a slow sweet kiss. "I do owe Hetty everything." "Oh yeah?" "Yeah, without her, I never would have met you!"

Deeks sends Hetty a message asking to meet with her early the following Monday. As they sat in her office, he remembered all the times they had spent with long talks after the mission emptied. He listened to stories of her past adventures. She knew that he carefully guarded his past and how smart and gifted he really was from the team. She was relieved when he was finally letting down some of those defenses. She had hoped that he would have signed the agent papers, but knew him well enough that he worked on his own schedule. She deeply regretted sending Kensi away to save Jack. And even more, letting him think it was his fault. Didn't he realize that he was brought in specifically for Kensi. Hetty had hoped they would connect, they were the perfect ying and yang.

But all that didn't matter now. Hetty moved the chessboard one too many times and it backfired, horribly. A congressional investigation, and worse, her team losing faith and trust. And as bad as it was that Callen called her out, it hurt worse from Marty Deeks. He was the sunshine the team desperately needed all those years ago and he needed the stability of a family. She felt his anger and mistrust daily while Kensi was away and not even a SAT phone at Christmas seem to help repair the damage. Now when he needed help most, he looked her in the eye and lied. She never felt more useless in her entire life.

"Good morning Mr. Deeks". "Hetty" he responded. "What can I do for you?" Deeks took a deep breath. "I want to talk to you about IAB, I may need your help". A small smile crept across her weathered, tired face and for the first time in a very long time, maybe a glimmer of hope. She missed him and will do anything to help keep him safe.

A second brick goes down easier when it has the first brick for support.


	2. Chapter 2 Lullaby 7x12 Core Values

"Wow! Look at you. Where did you learn to do that?"Deeks watched in wonder as his beautiful badass partner gently swayed and rocked the tiny infant. Kensi told him how she used to babysit in middle school when they were stationed at Camp Lejeune. He resisted the urge to comment on what she used her money on but would probably tease a little about it at another time.

It was so surreal and sad at the same time. The team stops a terrorist attack on a nuclear power plant. Now, they wait, hope and pray the gunnery sergeant will survive his radiation exposure. His wife was sitting at his bedside telling him about their son. Deeks again reminded why they do what they do but also yearning for his own family with Kensi.

While Kensi rocked the baby, his thoughts went back to his "interview" with the head of security. He had is background story set in his head, how he was tired of the grind of LAPD, frustrated with a couple of his superiors, needed a change of scenery. But after coming from the hospital and seeing Jamie, he allowed that he wanted to settle down and have a family. (Wait, what, where did that come from?) So here he was now watching Kensi and after all they had been through with internal affairs, just maybe…..

Deeks was startled out of his thoughts by Kensi asking him if he knew any lullabies? "Me? Yeah no, no, no lullabies." Definitely no lullabies, a lot of yelling, crying, glass breaking and a gunshot, but no lullabies. Kensi sensing his sadness said "I'm pretty sure Twinkle Twinkle is ok, everybody knows that one." Deeks paused, and if his partner could face her fears, then he certainly could override his sad memory. Very quietly and barely above a whisper, he started, "Twinkle Twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high," he paused forgetting what came next. But his Kensi, who will always have his back, joined in "like a diamond, in the sky." "Keep going. It's working." They both looked down at the precious face, both now swaying as one to soothe the baby.

As they drove home, Kensi was more quiet than usual. Deeks suddenly heard the faint humming of the lullaby coming from her. He reached over, took her hand. They see the worse of man, but for one moment they saw the best and possibly a glimpse of their future.


	3. Chapter 3 MOVING DAY Post-ep Come Back

It's going to take more than one hug to get through this mess!

As Deeks came down the steps he was greeted by boxes in various stages of open/empty/collapsed. Kensi promised that she was going to downsize her stuff. "yeah, we'll see". Marty called for Monty. He heard a whine from behind a stack of boxes. Poor old boy was stuck. Marty moved the boxes so his old friend could get out to the back yard. "Sorry Buddy, it will be back to normal soon!"

Deeks went to the kitchen to start the coffee. He scrolled through tumblr. He would never admit it but he liked keeping up with the latest shows and celebrity news. It seems it was National Hug Day. Everyone was posting pictures of hugs. He came across an instagram pic of a toddler with tousled white blond hair, hugging a huge akita. "Cute kid" he thought. "Maybe someday."

"Deeks!, I can't find my work boots." Kensi yelled from the bedroom. "They're by the front door where you left them Kensalina." Kensi came down to the kitchen and threw her arms around Deeks neck. "Happy Hug Day!" and kissed him on the cheek. "Isn't it every day?" he replied. "I just wanted you to know how happy I am that we are doing this" she said. "Kens, I thought we agreed you would be downsizing your stuff!" "I did! Everything here is stuff that I can't live without." At that point Kensi stuck out her lower lip, knowing how it affected him, and Deeks caved. "OK, but can we at least agree to get this stuff put away by the end of the weekend, please? Monty got trapped behind some of the boxes."

Later in the day, Deeks and Kensi walked into the mission together. Deeks was nervous about telling Sam and Callen their news. Not Kensi, she happily announced that she was moving in with Deeks! And Sam says "Great" – barely and then nothing. No remarks, no nothing. "Seriously, that's all you have to say, that's great?" Kensi looks at Callen, "You, you don't have anything to say?" "I thought you were already living together" Callen smirked. "Well no hugs for them", thought Deeks.

Thankfully Eric, came bounding down the steps all excited for the pair. "You guys! Congratulations! When's the big occasion, not THAT big occasion, not that I don't believe in you" he rambled. "Tonight!" answered Deeks. "And I am very excited!" echoed Kensi. "He gets a hug and Velma, cause she's Velma, his sister from another mother who always has his back as well as Kensi does" Deeks decided.

Little did they know that it was going to take more than a few hugs to get through the day. Hetty has an assignment for the pair that will put their love to the test. But, after what they have gone through the past 6 months, they knew what was solid – was their resolve in each other. Deeks found forgiveness in her deep abiding love for him and Kensi found her anchor in his strength and unconditional love for her, nothing was going to tear them apart.


	4. Crazy - Post-Ep The Seventh Child

**Tumblr FanFict Proposal Challenge**

Deeks sat on his surfboard, just after sunrise. Kensi was home still sleeping. It had been a crazy day. Thankfully, all the bombs had been removed from the kids and steps were being taken to find out who they belong to.

The day started with Kensi going on how she thought they needed a bigger space leading to a heart jolting thought that she might be pregnant. And the guilt that he didn't handle it well. To the tsunami that hit them in OPS as they looked at the pictures and maybe saw their not too distant future.

Crazy

' _Me, a stay at home Dad!'_ he smirked _. 'Me as any kind of Dad?'_

Funny, Kensi was always the kid phobic one. And he thinks that he will probably be the one to stay behind when a baby comes. He has options. He could go into private practice as a lawyer, go to the legal bureau for Bates [but as a last resort, the IA investigation still stinging]. Maybe have an in-house role at OSP. So much to think about of what's to come. Deeks' mind drifted back to where they had been.

 _The thud he felt in his chest when Tracy walked into that gym._

 _Surprise when Hetty offered him the liaison position._

 _The "maybe this wasn't such a good idea" feeling he got during his first day at the Mission._

 _Fear when everything went sideways and he thought he would never get to know his new partner._

 _Relief when he got her out of that room full of lasers._

 _Stunned when she told him that he was the only person she trusted._

 _Grateful she never gave up on him, even after he tried so hard to push her away._

 _Scared that she would not go back to his place with him when he finally said what he meant._

 _Devastated that he let her down when she needed him to take the shot._

 _Hopeful when she promised to talk about things and he promised to be patient._

 _Angry and Afraid when she was sent away._

 _Desperate to find her, by any means necessary. What he was willing to do and did._

 _Beyond emotion when he finally held her, promising to take her home._

Crazy

But here they were. Even after a dirty agent confused the shit out of him, she was patient. Their bond was strong. When the DOJ came calling, digging up old wounds, he held her with promises of more moments then she came to him a short time later wanting "all in". Their path will always be challenging. The demands of their job, sins of their pasts, family that before had been on the peripheral, were now intertwined.

Why not have it all!

 _"_ _Was it too crazy for two people to get married?"_ Deeks asked. He had to bite back the surprise at the "WTF" look she gave him. He asked again, " _Just wanted to know if you think it's too crazy for two people to…two people to get married?"_ Oh, God, did he just propose to Kensi?

Yes! he DID just proposed to Kensi, because he loves her desperately. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her, he wants kids with her. Pickett fences be dammed. They will make it work. They are partners, they are all in. They are bold!

Wait? What? What did she say? " _Not gonna say yes in the hallway at work without a ring on my finger."_

So, his princess who likes fantasy engagements, Love Actually and cupcakes wants the full girly girl experience. Well by God she is going to get it! On one knee, at the beach in the evening with the ring. It will be them forever. He better get paddling. He still needs to talk to Julia. He needs to get a special ring for his special girl. He needs to make plans. Things are about to get….

Crazy!


	5. Kat's Wedding Post-ep Granger, O

_Kensi sat on the bench at the outermost part of the Santa Monica pier waiting for Kat. She was not happy about the conversation she needed to have with her but there was no way around it. She had hashed it out with Deeks and he reluctantly agreed, she didn't have a choice._

 _"Kay-Kay! Why all the secrecy?" Kat was still glowing and looking a little frazzled with all the wedding plans. Kensi gave her friend a hug and moved over to give her room. "Kat" she started, "I am sorry to do this but I can't be in your wedding." Kensi held her breath hoping her friend will understand and forgive her._

 _"But why?" Kat looked hurt, confused. Kensi and Deeks decided a little truth was needed. This was one of best friends. Kensi started, "I have a job that keeps me on call pretty much 24/7. It's in law enforcement. Marty and I are partners. I am just afraid that if I commit to being in your wedding that we will get a case and we won't be at the wedding and I just could not do that to you."_

 _"I love you and I am thrilled for you but I am asking that you love me and understand. Marty and I are going to be there for you and Jeff and we will enjoy the wedding more knowing I didn't wreck things with my job. I also need you to keep our job situation between us. I will handle the heat from the girls, but I wanted you to know"_

That was 6 months ago. Kensi was checking her make-up in their hotel bathroom at the Le Meridien Delfina in Santa Monica. Deeks surprised her by getting a suite for the weekend. She stood in front of the mirror, final check of everything. Hetty had suggested a halter gown of coral chiffon. And she had to admit, this should fry her boyfriend's brain, not that it took much, she smirked. What she hadn't counted on was Hetty making sure Deeks took Kensi's breath away with his deep gray tux with vest and crisp white shirt. She loved dressing those two up.

Kensi and Deeks stood staring at each other in their suite. Deeks finally found his words, "Geez Kens, cause a heart attack much?" All she could do was nod. 'Thank you Hetty!' she thought. "Let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Deeks offered his arm, kissed his beautiful girlfriend on the cheek and off they went. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, so Kat, complete with giggles from Tiffany as the pastor recalled a story from when Kat was a little girl. Kensi felt a little pang of sadness at not being up front with her friends, but Kat had seated her and Deeks with the rest of the wedding party and the cupcake girls were actually pretty understanding of Kensi not being in the wedding. Deeks had been so supportive that it made things easier. "Just for the record, we are NOT having 250 people at our wedding!" Deeks huffed. "Do we even know 25 people?" Kensi asked. Deeks chuckled and pulled her chair closer. He was still working on his proposal plan, the ring was almost finished and he would then claim his forever with the love of his life. Kensi went to the ladies room with the girls and Deeks took the opportunity to make a request of the DJ for song but asked that he not announce it. Kensi does not like that sort of thing. He would give the DJ a signal when Kensi came back. He heard this song the other day on the radio. It was one of the few times, he had control of the dial. When Kensi was back at his side, he signaled the DJ. As the melody started, Deeks stood up, put his hand out to his girl. "Dance with me?" Kensi looked up to those blue eyes she could never get tired of and took his hand. He led her to the dance floor and pulled her close.

 _I've waited a hundred years. But I'd wait a million more for you. Nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do.*_

Kensi closed her eyes, listening to the lyrics, safe in his arms. Deeks had left his jacket on his chair and seeing him in just his vest reminded her of a time 4 years ago, when he said she wasn't his type and she tried to one up him, saying she was too his type. The truth had a funny way of coming out undercover.

 _If I had only felt the warmth within your touch. If I had only seen how you smile when you blush. Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough, I would have known what I was living for all along. What I've been living for*_

Deeks will never get tired of having her in his arms. All the time wasted due to fear. He will never forget the first time she blushed when he promised that he never thought for a minute she killed her father's platoon mates. Or watching her review reports while nibbling on her thumbnail. He could stare at her for hours. His warrior princess, deep down was a girly-girl and he was blessed to see that side of her. He would do everything to protect that side of her, she earned that from him.

 _I surrender who I've been for who you are. For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart. If I had only felt how it feels to be yours. Well, I would known, What I've been living for all along. What I've been living for*_

Kensi looked into his eyes, amazed at the love she always saw there. She felt the regret for pushing him away. For all the times she acted like a jealous school girl. She was so scared of this wild child of a partner. But what she didn't realize was that his heart was as fragile as hers. As she got to know him, the laid-back clown, was actually a sensitive, loving, honorable man. He had protected his mother, protected Tiffany, protected her. But mostly, he protected his heart. He was just as guarded as she was. It wasn't until the case with Agent Angelo, that she'd find out that he was as terrified of getting hurt, hurting her, of everything.

 _Though we're tethered to the story we must tell. When I saw you, well, I knew we'd tell it well. With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas. Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees*_

They had saved each other so many ways, so many times. But in the end, they made it. And soon, he would seal the deal with a ring, on one knee for her. Anything for her. The song faded out, they stood there looking deep into each other's eyes when Marty moved forward and Kensi, as she has done for the past 6 years, met him half way to a slow sweet kiss. It wasn't until they heard glasses clanking that they broke apart to Kat standing behind them saying, "You two need to get a room or married or something!" Both felt the heat rise in their cheeks, laughed and mumbled their apologies. Later Marty took Kat aside and filled her in his plans and promised to let her know when it was going to happen. Kat hugged him tight and thanked him for loving her best friend.

The rest of the weekend was spent partying with the cupcake girls and their significant others, walks on the beach, quiet talks, and lots of love. By the time Sunday night rolled around they actually felt rested. They stopped by her mom's to pick up Monty and headed home. Back to business of saving the world.

Monday morning, Callen and Sam were in the gym waiting for them. They decided to give them another chance at "champion of the world". Kensi and Deeks smiled at each other and said "no thanks, we're good". And they were.

 _*Turning Page – Sleeping at Last [Ryan Curtis O'Neal]_


	6. Chapter 6

Christmas Wish

For princesstiva as part of the NCISLA fic exchange on tumblr.

[Season 7: Internal Affairs/Cancel Christmas - episode quotes in _italics_ ]

Deeks was still sitting on the stairs at the mission when his phone starting ringing. Kensi's smile appeared on his screen. He sent the call to voicemail at great risk of her ire, but Hetty's words were still swirling in his head. _"But I have always found that secrets are much easier to keep, when you have NO ONE to share them with."_ 'No one', Deeks thought. For so long, he had no one, except for his Mom and even then, she knew nothing about what happened with Boyle. He tried telling Kensi when they were on stakeout at the Russian spa. He told her of their contemptuous relationship, how Boyle put his gun in his mouth when Deeks questioned his "interrogation" techniques.

It wasn't until he was behind bars, looking at his partner who had found out about about Tiffany, that he again tried to tell her. _"You need to understand that this might not be going away."_ _"Quit being a drama queen"_ was her response. He could see she was trying to piece things together. Deeks assured her that Tiffany did not kill anybody, he told her he was probably going to county jail very soon. Instead of a conversation, all he got was the back of her head as she rushed out. His frustration was growing. Kensi was out there without his protection. Tiffany has been found, who would protect her? It was the reason he became a cop, to protect and serve. That was who Marty Deeks is – a protector. He protected his Mom from his Dad, he protected Tiffany from Boyle and now he protects Kensi on a daily basis. And protecting Kensi was more than his job, it was his reason for living. She was his reason for living. She was his heart, his soul – everything! What will she think when she finds out the truth behind the investigation?

His phone rings again, "Baby, I'm sorry, I am on my way." Kensi, just says "OK". She knows he is exhausted but she just wants him close to her. The past few days have been awful not knowing what was going to happen with the investigation. And even though Steadman had been taken into custody, Kensi still felt that there was more to what happened. More to Deeks relationship with Tiffany. Not that there was a "relationship" with Tiffany, but that he was hiding something. Deeks always felt he had to protect Kensi. And maybe early on in their partnership there were reasons not to share. She was not the best partner from day one. She did everything she could to push him away. But in the end, she realized she needed him as much as he needed her. Now, she needed to remind him that he could trust her, with everything. "All in" meant just that. And she needed to keep calm and wait for him to tell her. Sam was so right, "more being, less doing". Ever since that chat in the armory, her perspective has been clearer and her relationship with Deeks has been calmer. Not even Talia being around had upset her. Meeting his Mom was a little insane but she cares about his mom and knows that Roberta likes her too. Trusts her with Marty's heart. Together they will get him through this.

After drinks with the team, Kensi and Deeks head back to his house. Monty was very happy to see them. All Deeks wanted to do was crash in his bed with his girlfriend tucked in beside him. His Mom was already asleep upstairs in the guest room. Marty paced from the living room to the kitchen, not looking for anything, just pacing. Kensi stepped in front of him to get him to stop. "Look, whatever is running around in that head of yours, let it go for tonight." Kensi slipped her arms around him, trying to calm him. "Just come to bed, please."

It was early the next morning, Roberta started down the steps, pausing, listening to the quiet. She sighed in relief. The night had been anything but quiet, as she heard Marty having one of his nightmares. Roberta remembered all too well, the terrors he experienced. The guilt still haunts her. She should have tried harder to protect him. Seeing him in that jail cell hurt her, Marty did not deserve this. What he did deserve, was Kensi. Kensi had an inner strength she wished she had. She thought back to the first time she met her. Kensi was so scared, Marty was beaming and Roberta marveled at the two of them. Once Kensi relaxed, the fun started. Marty poked Kensi, she poked him right back. There was an ease about them and love. So much love. That's what made her happiest, to see them love each other. They were not headed down the same path her and Gordon traveled. These two were going to be happy and if all goes well, it won't just be the two of them.

Kensi stirred awake, 'coffee?' she thought she smelled. She looked at Deeks still asleep, finally. It had been a rough night. Several times Kensi had to wake him from the terrors going on in his mind. Each time, he had this haunted look in his eyes. She didn't push him, all she wanted was for him to calm down and he would melt into her arms. Fortunately, around 3 he finally fell asleep and stayed that way. Kensi quietly slipped out of bed, threw on a pair of yoga pants and tee shirt and headed downstairs.

"Morning", Roberta greeted her from the kitchen. "I would ask how you slept, but I heard. Is he ok?" Kensi nodded, still stretching and reached for an empty mug. "He finally fell asleep around 3", she answered. "Sorry you had to hear it." Roberta quickly answered, "I am part of the reason he has those nightmares, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything I should be apologizing to you! I will never be able to make things up to him." Robert's eyes started to fill. Kensi went to her, put her arms around her and tried to reassure her.

"Marty is not interested in that. He loves you, wants the best for you." Kensi said, hoping it would help. "You have both of us now. And he is home and we'll get him through this, together." Roberta returned the hug and went about finishing breakfast. She and Kensi chatted about the upcoming Christmas holidays. They were soon joined by a very sleepy, detective. "What am I missing?" Deeks asked as he yawned and stretched. He made his way over to the counter where Kensi was sitting, drinking her coffee. He kissed the top of her head and then went around and did the same to his Mom.

"We were just talking about the holidays" was her answer. Deeks wasn't sure if he believed them but he was not going to question it. He was just happy that his two favorite ladies were getting along. "You never told me why you were heading home? You know you can stay here until after holidays." Marty had meant to ask when he saw her return ticket. Roberta had given him a vague answer but then all hell broke loose and it was forgotten. "I promised some friends we would get together and you two need some time alone after everything…." her voice dropped off. She was still dealing with seeing her son in a jail cell. Marty went to his mom and pulled her into a tight embrace. "It's all good Mama, I'm here and we're together, all 3 of us." He looked at Kensi and gave her a sweet smile. He realized what he had to do.

Kensi and Deeks dropped his mom at the airport and then went into work. Deeks was greeted with a pile of overdue paperwork. As he and Kensi chatted about holiday plans, they were joined by Sam and Callen. The 4 team members looked at each other and the silence became deafening. Deeks finally broke the silence. "Hey" was all he could muster. Kensi looked first to Sam and then Callen. Sam put down his bag, crossed in front of his desk to Deeks, reaching out his hand. Deeks slowly offered his back and was then pulled out of his chair into a hug. "I am glad you are here. I am sorry what you went through. But, you could have come to me, us, for help." Sam looked Deeks in the eye. He knows Deeks doesn't really trust anyone except his partner, and that saddened him. Deeks appreciated the gesture. "Sam, I couldn't risk NCIS, especially my partner, becoming involved. I don't know if I could have done anything differently. I'm sorry to have let you all down."

Callen remained silent. Deeks noticed as did Kensi and Sam. Callen suspects there is more to this and also knows that he is the last person Deeks will share anything with so for now he waits. The team sets about doing their paperwork. Deeks seemed more engrossed than normal. So much so he was surprised by the enthusiastic hug over the back of his shoulders. "Shaggy! I missed you!" Nell practically strangled him. "Hey Velma, thanks for your help, I appreciate it, more than you know." He was very grateful to the Wonder Twins. When they quietly came to him offering their help, he accepted. He knew they risked a lot keeping things from Kensi. But when he explained things to her, the need to keep his circle tight, she relented and agreed that it was for the best. How could she stay mad at her best friend for helping the man she loves. Nell was Deeks good friend too and would do anything for him. Kensi had called Nell to let her know that she was grateful and not upset.

The mission was starting to take on the holiday vibe. Lights had been strung throughout the railings, the palm tree that Sam and Callen had brought in several years ago was up and decorated. And if you listened carefully, Christmas music was coming from the armory. Armory? Nell and Eric once again volunteered for Toys for Tots and were working on a dance routine when they are dressed as toy soldiers. Meanwhile in the bullpen, Kensi was pacing as she talked on her cell phone and Deeks was has having an animated conversation on his desk phone. Apparently both moms want to cook Christmas dinner, neither is budging. Deeks suggested eloping. After Kensi calmed down, and her partner backpedaled - sort of - they were given a reprieve in decision making, courtesy of Eric announcing a case complete with jingle bells.

Kensi and Deeks were sent to Montrose to investigate the last steps of a Korean spy that was killed. Kensi went into a shop while Deeks questioned the very pretty young lady dressed in a scanty Mrs. Clause outfit. Deeks had just placed a donation in the red kettle as his partner came out and proceeded to bust him for being a perv. Acting hurt, but not really, Deeks tried to talk his way out of his predicament by trying to compliment Kensi saying how great she would look in the outfit. Epic fail! She accused him of being sexist. Deeks then offered to role reverse and wear the sexy lingerie which then gave his partner an idea. "Maybe a sexy Mr. Clause?" Deeks stumbled but recovered quick enough to assure his girlfriend he could make that happen. _"Tie you up with a bow, unwrap you like a present. Oh girl!"_

The case was a lot of starting and stopping and stakeouts and maybe almost getting blown up. Deeks was trying to keep things light and asked his partner what she wanted for Christmas. A baby tiger was not quite the answer he was expecting nor when she shouted "NCIS Bitches!" But he appreciated her good mood even if it was a tad crazy. Kensi turned the tables on her boyfriend as they sat watching the toy store hoping for a lead. _"What would you want for Christmas if you could have anything?"_ Deeks thought for a second.

 _"That's easy. Forgiveness."_

 _"Forgiveness for what?"_

 _"For not telling you something I should have told you a long time ago. And I fully recognize this as the most bizarre of circumstances and the weirdest timing to have this conversation."_

 _"What conversation exactly?"_

Deeks then proceeded to remove his earwig and turn it off. Kensi mimicked her partner's actions. She was getting a feeling that her world was about to be rocked and righted at the same time. She also knew she had to be patient and let Deeks say whatever he needed to say. And taking a small breath, he started.

 _"The whole Internal Affairs investigation, I was trying to protect you, and trying to protect NCIS because John Quinn did not kill Boyle, I did and I did to protect Tiffany."_ Deeks looked at Kensi. He held his breath waiting for her reaction, response, anything. Kensi for her part, finally let out the breath she was holding. She gathered her thoughts, remembering 'more being, less doing'. Remembering how much she loves this man. She is dumbfounded and grateful that he is actually talking to her about this. She lifts her head, looks over to those blue eyes that are her home. _"I know."_

Deeks was stunned. _"What do you mean you know? No you don't."_ He was then reminded that his partner is a savvy investigator herself. _"I didn't know, but figured it out." "Then why didn't you say anything?"_ He was part relieved, part ashamed, part panicked. Kensi just shrugged, _"I just figured you'd tell me when you were ready to." "I'm sorry"_ in barely a whisper from her partner. Kensi assured him, _"It's okay. Just no more secrets, okay?."_ Deeks' eyes, a combination of relief, gratitude and tears, promised her, _"No more secrets." "Do you have any idea how much I love you right now?"_

Kensi looked at her partner, her boyfriend, her everything and decided he needed a break from this heaviness. _"No. But I'm hoping it will be reflected in my Christmas gift."_ She winked at him, because she knows how, he still doesn't. But there is a skill he is very good at and Deeks knows it. _"I need to kiss you."_ Staring deep into her eyes. _"You can't kiss me right now. We're on the job."_ Oh, game on! _"Yeah but it's Christmas and these are special circumstances."_ Kensi not biting, _"I understand, but we have to keep our eyes on the shop."_ Her stubborn partner not relenting, _"We don't even know what we are looking for. Forget the shop. I need to kiss you."_

Kensi tried to fake frustration and failed. _"Fine, I'll do it."_ And with that, while she kept an eye on the shop, she leaned over and gave her partner a QUICK kiss on the lips. It was so fast, her partner could barely pucker up! _"That's not a kiss. That doesn't count as a kiss. That's like a fourth of a kiss. A fraction of kiss."_ What's a guy gotta do to get a kiss, at Christmas, no less? _"Well then you'll get the other fraction at home."_ Promised his girlfriend with a sly smile. A promise, Deeks had every intention of collecting.

The team finally gets the break they need and capture the spies and save Christmas. And Sam saves the junior partners by inviting them and their moms to his house for Christmas dinner. It was a very nice evening at the Hanna's. The Moms and Michelle got along and were seen plotting how to get the couple to the next phase and hopefully onto grandchildren. Deeks and Kensi just resigned themselves to their fate and let them have their fun. It was Christmas after all.

Julia invited Roberta to spend a few days with her to give Kensi and Deeks some alone time. She saw how tired they both looked and thought they could use the break. As they lay in bed, the moonlight cast a shadow across them. Deeks held Kensi tight, grateful for her gift of forgiveness. "I hear the wheels turning, what are you thinking about?" She asked him. "I don't think I am. I just finally have quiet and you and nothing hanging over my head anymore. I am trying to stop thinking actually." Kensi just let him go on, knowing he needed to let things go. She knows that there may be more to follow, but at least they were together. In his arms is where she always wants to end her day. Tomorrow will take care of itself. She turned to face him, caressed his cheek. Kensi leaned in, gave him a slow, sweet, kiss.

"Goodnight Deeks, Merry Christmas, I love you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Post-ep to Black Market. I was a nursing assistant back in the day and thought why not have some quality time with my OTP. Dedicated to my girl Steph who needed a smile today.**

 **Disclaimer: still don't own them, the Cubs will probably win the World Series before I do.**

It was a very long, tiring day when Deeks finally arrived at the hospital. His body was on autopilot as he navigated his way through the lobby, elevator and hallway towards Kensi's room. He paused when he thought he heard voices come from the room. His heart stopped, and his pace picked up as he arrived at the door. Did she wake up?

What he saw made his heart melt and ache at the same time. The nursing assistant was doing Kensi's evening care. On the TV was ANTM and the assistant, Kitty was doing a running commentary. She remember that Kensi liked the show from her conversations with Marty. So as she lovingly washed each limb and did her range of motion exercises, she gave her commentary as the models were being judged.

"Oh snap, Tyra just took out Julie. I didn't think she was that horrible." On and on she went. Deeks knew Kitty wasn't exactly a fan of the show but put effort into watching to have something to "talk" to Kensi about. He appreciated the extra effort for "his girl". Deeks stayed hidden as she went about her tasks. Many an evening he was there and he came to think of the assistant as a friend. It was nice to have someone to talk to, even nicer when he found out what a sports fan she was. They both loved baseball, and kidded each other about their basketball teams. Deeks conceded that she had it worse with her Sixers verses his Clippers.

"Oh and Kensi, wait til Marty gets here. I can't wait to remind him that the Dodgers would not be in the playoffs without my guys, Utley and Ruiz, being on the team." She chuckled as she kept working. "I miss Philadelphia but I will always be a Phillies fan." "Maybe you should come with us next time we go to a game." Kitty was startled by the male voice from the door. "Dude, don't sneak up on me like that. Besides you do not want to go to a game with me. I will wear my Phillies jersey, I cheer and boo, it's not pretty." Deeks chuckled as he came into the room and right away gave Kensi a kiss on the cheek. "Evening Fern, how was your day?" Kitty stepped back to give them a moment. Her heart ached for the couple. But she so admired Marty's dedication to Kensi.

He looked more tired than normal. He never failed to have a smile when he saw "his girl" though. She could see he was struggling to keep the faith but sometimes it was just so hard. Kitty filled him on some of her day and told him she would get the nurse to fill him on the rest. She was excited for him to hear that Kensi had actually responded to pain stimulation. Hopefully it meant that she was starting to wake up, but the nurse or doctor had to give him that news.

"You are just in time for evening calisthenics! Why don't I let you finish and I can go check on my other patients." Marty nodded and took over from the assistant. As Kitty gathered up her supplies, she heard Marty pick up where she left off talking about TV show. He was a good student, learning everything he could about her care. She watched for a minute to make sure he was doing things correctly, of course he was, she wished she could do more for them both. "I'll check in later. No shenanigans while I am gone you two." Kitty gave Marty's shoulder a squeeze and then left the room.

She prayed that Kensi would wake up soon.


	8. Chapter 8

**Inspired by sneek peek to Crazy Train [S8E07]**

Sam and Callen entered into the bullpen. Deeks heard them but wasn't really paying attention. "Deeks! Power of invisibility or flight?" Deeks looked up at Sam. "Um, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. That's a good one." Deeks continued on with what he was doing. Sam and Callen looked at each other. "You sleep at the hospital again last night?" Deeks looked over at Callen. "Yeah" "How is she?" Sam was studying Deeks. When did his tee shirts start getting looser? His face paler? "You know, she's the same. I mean but she's better." His eyes looked unfocused. Sam saw him glance over to the empty desk. "Better? Better is good." "Yeah, no it is." Deeks just stared off into the abyss that was his mind these days. He snapped back to real time when he heard Eric announce that they had a case.

Sam was still at his desk as the sun was starting to set. Callen mumbled something about an "appointment" but he thought that G was heading over to Arkady's. As he started heading down the tunnel towards his car, he heard movement in the gym. He went to the entrance and saw Deeks wailing on the heavy bag. Apparently he had been at it for a while based on the amount of sweat on his arms and how wet his hair was. This has got to stop he thought. Sam slipped into the locker room and got his boxing gear on and went out to join the detective.

"You're angry." It wasn't a question. Deeks just looked at Sam and then went back to hitting the bag. "Is that helping?" Still no answer. Sam shoved Deeks off the bag. Deeks just got back in position and continued hitting. Sam shoved him again, harder. Deeks turned and looked at the Seal. Sam asked again. "Hitting a bag is not helping is it?" His arms dropped. "No it's not but I can't very well punch myself, or Kensi or the job." Sam looked at Deeks, saw everything. His fears, frustrations, anger, loneliness. He had started to notice how Deeks almost seemed numb and that worried him more. If he could get Deeks to let his feelings out, that would help his perspective. So willing to risk their friendship. Sam punched him on the shoulder.

Deeks looked at Sam and took a step back. Sam came out again, hitting the other shoulder. He saw Deeks start to get upset, good. Sam took a shove at Deeks. And then the dam burst. Deeks swung back. Back and forth they went exchanging blows in their imaginary ring. Sam pulling his punches but letting Deeks go full out. Deeks kept coming and coming until just as raised his right hand to send another punch, he stopped. He looked at his glove and then he looked at Sam and he dropped to the mat. Deeks curled into a ball, pounding the mat with his glove and then the tears flowed. "I'm drowning Sam." Sam knelt down and rubbed his friend's back. "Let it out Deeks, let it out." It broke his heart to see two people he cared so much about hurting so badly.

Finally, the tears subsided. Deeks sat up, embarrassed but actually feeling a bit better. "You don't have to do this alone." Sam got Deeks to look at him. "I don't even know what to do for Kensi let alone ask anything of you." "Well the first thing you need to do is take care of yourself. You look like shit. When's the last time you ate a decent meal?" Deeks just shrugged. Mostly he would bring something to the hospital to eat in Kensi's room. "Well that ends tonight. Michelle is waiting on us. And tomorrow, she is going to the hospital to visit Kensi. You and me, we are going to spend some time here. You look like you lost some weight and probably have not been surfing?" Deeks hung his head. He knows he has not been taking care of himself. "Yeah" was all Deeks said.

Sam and Deeks arrived at the Hanna house. Kam jumped into Uncle Marty's arms and gave him a big hug. Michelle was next with a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Sit down you two, supper is ready." Sam pulled Michelle aside. "Baby, I need you to go see Kensi tomorrow. I think she needs a woman to talk to. Maybe you can get her thinking clearly again." Michelle nodded, "I'll take care of my girl. You take care of Shaggy. We will get them moving forward again."

Deeks loved Michelle's cooking and ate way more than he expected. Michelle filling his plate constantly probably helped. Kam entertained him with stories about school and maybe about the boys who were flirting with her. There may have been steam coming from Sam's ears when he heard that. But it was fun, and relaxing and just what Marty needed. After dinner, the family watched a movie. Kam was on the couch with Deeks when she waved at her dad. Marty had drifted off to sleep. Kam slipped off the couch, Sam put a blanket on him and they left the room. Michelle called Kensi to let her know that Deeks had crashed on their couch and that she was coming to visit her tomorrow. Could she bring her anything? Girl stuff, etc.? Kensi actually sounded relieved that he had gone to the Hanna's. She gave Michelle a list of personal stuff that she would love to have. Michelle said goodnight to Kensi.

Sam was turning off the lights when Michelle finished her call with Kensi. He put his arm around his wife and pulled her close. They knew what was needed and they were going to do everything they could to support Kensi and Deeks. They were family.


	9. Chapter 9

_I was pretty pissed after Sirens so I needed a pick me up. "Come on get Higher" by Matt Nathanson I love this song - it is so Densi._

 _I miss the sound of your voice_

 _And I miss the rush of your skin_

 _And I miss the still of the silence_

 _As you breathe out and I breathe in*_

Home. She was finally home and sleeoing in their bed. For the first time in 2 ½ months he was sleeping - normally. For the first time in almost 3 months he was breathing – normally. Never had two halves needed to be whole more than Marty Deeks and Kensi Blye.

 _If I could walk on water_

 _If I could tell you what's next_

 _I'd make you believe_

 _I'd make you forget*_

Communication was never a strength in the relationship. Words in their world could not always be trusted. Looks and touches were truth for them. But when Kensi was lying in that hospital bed in a coma, words were all he had. There was begging, tears, she never saw. Making promises, a ring on her finger she never felt. Funny stories she never heard – he thinks. A guarantee that things would get better, that she would get better. She was still having trouble believing that one.

 _So come on, get higher, loosen my lips_

 _Faith and desire and the swing of your hips_

 _Just pull me down hard_

 _And drown me in love_

 _So come on, get higher, loosen my lips_

 _Faith and desire and the swing of your hips_

 _Just pull me down hard_

 _And drown me in love_

She is everything to him. His sunshine and gunpowder. She is alive, back home and whatever she wants to do after that, she can. He just wants to start forever with her. All that's left is for the ring to be sitting on her finger.

 _I miss the sound of your voice_

 _Loudest thing in my head_

 _And I ache to remember_

 _All the violent, sweet_

 _Perfect words that you said_

There were so many conversations. The ones that started their get-to-know-you dance. The ones where they tried to say exactly what they meant but used anything but real words with real meanings. The words that were said that finally meant something – _you were the only thing that got me through, I want to be at my place right now with you, all we have to do is talk about it, be patient with me, all in, no more secrets_. The words that talked of a future – _was it too crazy for two people to want to get married? I promise I will get you home._

 _I miss the pull of your heart_

 _I taste the sparks on your tongue_

 _I see angels and devils_

 _And God, when you come on_

 _Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on*_

They see the best and worse in each other. They are their better angels when the devils of their past threaten their souls. They are each other's anchor in the storm. The last lifeline they will ever need. And even though things are a bit stormy right now, when he holds up his right hand and she pours every ounce of effort with her left to join his, once they are joined, nothing can tear them apart.

 _So come on, get higher, loosen my lips_

 _Faith and desire and the swing of your hips_

 _Just pull me down hard_

 _And drown me in love_

 _So come on, get higher, loosen my lips_

 _Faith and desire and the swing of your hips_

 _Just pull me down hard_

 _And drown me in love*_

"Come On Get Higher" Written by Matt Nathanson, Mark M. Weinberg • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management US, LLC


	10. Chapter 10

_**For my girl Stef who had a crappy couple of days.**_

"DEEKS!"

Even with sound of gunfire all around him, he hears her. She's here! Deeks had come up behind Callen who was in the kitchen dealing with one of rogue CIA agents.

"You got this?" Callen looked back over his shoulder, he had heard Kensi also.

"Go!" He didn't need to be told twice.

Ferris heard the gunfire, was not able to stop Kensi call for her partner. No matter, he thought, I will get a two for one when her partner comes looking for her. He re-positioned the wheelchair holding Kensi so that she was facing the door. He picked up the saw and waited.

"Still going to end me Special K?"

"I am not the one you have to worry about now. Deeks is coming for me and he will stop at nothing until I am free from you. Did you know he tortured a blind cleric to get information when I went missing back in Afghanistan?"

Kensi knew how that affected Deeks but she needed to distract Ferris. She also remembered when the Pakistani agent held her at gunpoint at the hotel. When he couldn't take the shot. So much has changed since then, she knows he will take the shot this time.

The door burst opened. Deeks entered, gun drawn. There he saw Kensi in a wheelchair, Ferris behind her with a saw at her neck

"Take one more step an-" Before he could finish his sentence, Deeks finished Ferris. He then rushed to partner.

"Double tap to the head, you must really love me." He took the shot, no hesitation, not like last time.

"Well my baby's bleeding. He noticed the blood on her mouth. Now he wished he might have given him a taste of what he done to her. But Ferris was dead and that was all that mattered.

"I'm okay. I'm okay. I bit my tongue on purpose so I'm okay." They looked into each other's eyes. Alive! She was alive and safe.

Deeks heard someone come into the room, it was Callen.

"Kens, you okay?" Deeks looked back over his shoulder toward their team leader.

"Dad! Get out of the room!" He had a girlfriend to kiss senseless.

Deeks gathered Kensi in his arms. He was home. And still not alone as someone else came in, this time it was Sam.

"Kensi, you alright?" Kensi has this.

"He said get out of the room!" The senior partners looked at each other, rolled their eyes but with a smile that was grateful the team was okay. They left the lovers alone. Sabatino still needed to be dealt with.

Deeks let out the breath he had been holding since Kensi was first captured. She was safe in his arms. Kensi hugged herself tightly to him. The last time she saw him was in a jail cell. But he was here, in her arms. Now she just wants to go home.

They pulled back slightly from each other. Deeks smoothed her hair, caressed her face.

"You good?"

"Yeah"

"You're sure?"

"Yeah!, I am now." And then partners so in sync leaned forward foreheads touching both letting go a long sigh.

After Deeks finished releasing Kensi from the wheelchair, the partners walked out of the room neither looking back to the body on the floor. Instead they were looking forward to their lives ahead. As they approached the front door, the detective swept his special agent into his arms, kissed her and opened the door.

"I gotcha."

"Okay. No, no, no – you don't… "

"Over the threshold."

Kensi squirmed half-heartedly.

"Seriously Deeks, you don't have to do this anyway."

"No. But I do, I really do."

He thought back to being undercover as a married couple carrying her into the hotel room as the jungle cat. Now his thoughts of her are in a white dress after exchanging vows. It's time.

Sabatino's disappearing act put a slight damper on their celebration. Once back at the mission, Nell seemed like she wouldn't let Kensi go until she moved to hug Deeks. The team was back together, except for Granger who was still recovering in the hospital. Hetty assured them he was safe. Kensi noticed something between Deeks and the operations manager. She will need to ask him later.

Deeks was impressed with Admiral A. . The admiral was equally as impressed with Deeks. A lawyer and detective? AJ makes a note to spend some time with Deeks. He sees a resource that may be underused which is not like Henrietta. But Deeks must have skills that AJ wasn't aware of or he wouldn't be on this team.

All Kensi wanted was to go home. She caught Deeks' eye from across the room. Deeks nodded and walked over to Sam and Callen.

"I'm gonna take Kens home. Call me if Sabatino surfaces."

They nod, pat him on the shoulder. Kensi goes to Hetty and says good-bye. Both women looked at Deeks. He looks back towards them but doesn't move.

"Go on Miss Blye, get some rest. You did well and I am very happy you are back safe."

Kensi notices the slight frown but doesn't ask. They are all tired. She just needs a hot bath, a good night's sleep and everything will be right again.

Home.

Deeks once again swept his love off her feet and crossed another threshold into their living room. Once on her feet, he leaned in and kissed her again on her lips, moving along her jaw and landing on that spot below her right ear. He was rewarded with the shiver that always happens when he hits that spot.

"Welcome home."

Kensi just leaned more into his embrace. She has so much she wants to tell him. But her thoughts are all muddled. A lot has happened the past few months, some things she feels guilty about. But all she wants is to be in his arms. The rest can wait. She didn't realize how deep she was thinking until she heard..

"How about I get a bath started for you, yeah? And then I will order takeout and then…."

He looked into her eyes. They had been finding their way back to each other since she woke up and then came home. Deeks watched her struggle with her injuries and her doubt and his frustration at her pushing him away. But seeing her in that chair at first unnerved him but then she looked up at him and there was his partner. His Badass Blye right there looking at him. He knew they would be okay.

It was quiet, two lovers wrapped in each other in the early morning. After Kensi had her bath, and they ate dinner all they wanted was to fall in bed and remind each other they were alive and together and in love.

Yes, there were things to discuss. An IA investigation that doesn't seem to want to go away. Kensi doesn't yet know about Det. Whiting's shooting. What is going on between Deeks and Hetty. Kensi's guilt over being drawn in by Ferris and also how she had treated Deeks during her rehab. Is the mole situation solved or is Sabatino still a threat? More questions than answers.

But for now, in this moment, their world is right again and whatever the fallout is, they are back on equal footing and moving forward together.

 _A/N: Thinking about a second chapter. Let me know._


	11. Chapter 11

Hi all. Only one more week until the Season 9 premiere. Below was my entry into the NCISLAFicExchange Hiatus challenge Tumblr. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

" _Martin Deeks will you marry me?"_

" _No no come'on baby you gotta stand up."_

" _No Deeks."_

" _Listen you can't you can't, you can't do this."_

" _Deeks I think I just did."_

" _You can't because the guy, the guy has to propose."_

" _Oh really, cause I think it's 2017 and you kind of had your shot."_

" _Not to be a stickler for detail, but I've actually proposed three times, if you count the very romantic version I did while you were in a coma. Baby what are you doing?"_

" _Life is really short, Deeks. I mean we saw that today and we see it everyday. And I don't know how much time either one of us have left, but I do know this. I want to spent the rest of what I have with you. So what's it gonna be?"_

" _I mean I don't know. I mean this is lot for a girl to process."_

" _You're such an idiot."_

" _I love you."_

" _I love you."_

" _Yes. Absolutely, what the hell yes. My god did that just happen? Let's take a look at this thing. Well, I gotta be honest, I uh, thought it'd have a little more bling to it."_

" _Oh no. You know me. I'm more bang than bling."_

" _That's right, sunshine and gunpowder."_

* * *

The sun broke through a slim crack between the drape panels in their bedroom. Marty Deeks was lying quietly watching his fiancée sleep. He held her hand that now was properly adorned with the ring he bought and tried to give her several times. But as happy as this moment was, there was something else bothering his sleep. He remembers sitting on the mission staircase after his first go-round with Internal Affairs.

" _You could have lost all of this._ "

He rubbed his hand over his face. Whiting. What is he going to do about Whiting? Deeks knows what he can't do. He can't lie to Kensi. And he hasn't. He just needs to fill her in on what Whiting wanted to meet him about and he is going to bring her up to speed with what he was thinking and together they will face this. He also thinks A.J. Chegwidden could be helpful. He is a lawyer with Hetty-like connections and would be a good person to have on his side. Also with Shay Mosely, the new assistant director, wanting to send him back to LAPD, he is going to need all the inside help he can get.

Kensi's alarm goes off. Deeks watches as she stretches her way to awake. He leans in to nuzzle her neck and playfully suggests a few extra minutes. She agrees and he rolls on top of her and starts his favorite journey with his lips. Starting just under her right ear, across her jaw, down her neckline.

Kensi for her part runs her hands through his silken hair, across his shoulders while her hips move against his, expressing her desire and impatience. Deeks receives the message and skillfully slides into her and together they move in perfect harmony. Although they don't have much time, this little trip to heaven is their favorite way to start the day. Unspoken is the thought that today, like every day, could be their last. Michelle Hanna's death still raw in their hearts and minds.

Reluctantly they separate and officially start their day. Showers, clothes, Monty, coffee and off they go to the mission. Kensi texts Callen to find out if he had any luck talking to Sam. Kensi wants to help, but doesn't want to overwhelm Sam. They asked about Kam and Aiden and Callen promised he would let them know if there was anything they could do. Being back at school was probably good for them. A normal routine. Kensi has all she can handle with Deeks and Whiting and now the new assistant director.

On the way to the mission, Deeks tells Kensi how his meeting with the IA detective went.

"So my talk with Whiting the other day proved that some folks won't change."

"What do you mean?"

"She told me that IA is inundated with cases. Whiting thinks there are even more not being reported. She even heard rumblings that Bates might be dirty and she wants my help to find out."

"You don't really think Bates is dirty do you?"

"No, of course not. But the best way for me to clear him is to help her. Plus she really didn't give me a choice."

"How so?"

"She remembers everything I said to her about Boyle. But she is willing to close my investigation if I help her. And before you ask, I asked if she was going to hold this over my head for the rest of my career."

"Let me guess, our twosome is now a threesome?"

"And not in a fun way." Deeks can practically see the steam coming out of Kensi's ears. "Baby, please. I know that look. I can't have you approaching Whiting. I have a better idea." Deeks then suggests that they should to bring AJ Chegwidden in for support. She agrees. Deeks contacts AJ to invite him to dinner. Kensi suggests that it needs to be someplace public. She doesn't think their house is bugged but does not want to risk anything.

* * *

Kensi, Deeks and AJ meet at Neptune's Net. It was a quiet Tuesday evening and the weather is perfect for outdoor dining.

AJ looks at the couple. "Alright you two, to what do I owe the free eats?" Since Kensi actually partnered with the Admiral during the mole case, she takes point.

"Why does there have to be a reason to share a meal with you?" Kensi tries to look innocent.

Chegwidden raises an eyebrow at the two. "I'm old, not stupid. I hope it's because you, Detective, realize you need help with your impending transfer back to LAPD courtesy of the new assistant director?"

Deeks lets out a half chuckle. "Actually, that is only a small part of my problem." Deeks looks at Kensi. _In for a penny, in for a pound,_ he thinks. Kensi gives his hand a squeeze, nodding her head in support.

"Admiral, how much do you know of my situation with LAPD's Internal Affairs?"

"Henrietta told me that a former partner of yours ended up dead in a motel room. That the detective had made threatening overtures to you and a young prostitute. There was also another corrupt detective who used to be his partner plus a corrupt detective from IA, who you put away, who assisted Hetty with the location of some illegally stashed evidence. From what I read in the witness statement from the young lady, it was just a bunch of circumstantial evidence and hearsay. I also wondered why IA never did anything about your complaints."

Deeks looks at the admiral. He must have been a hell of a lawyer back in the day. Good. He's going to need a damn good lawyer now if he's going to beat this. Deeks takes a dollar out of his pocket and holds it up to the admiral. AJ speaks lawyer fluently and knows what Deeks is asking. After a moment to weigh the possible consequences of his decision, AJ accepts the dollar as his retainer and puts it in his shirt pocket. Deeks continues.

"What you don't know, that Hetty and Kensi do, is that I did kill Francis Boyle. He had threatened both me and Tiffany, the prostitute. There was a struggle in the hotel room. Boyle ended up dead. Apparently when the mole was originally stirring up trouble, an anonymous tip was given to IA. Hetty managed to get things settled by using John Quinn to locate Boyle and Steadman's stash of stolen drugs, money and weapons and then relocate it to Steadman's garage for Internal Affairs to find. She then "relocated" Quinn to another prison with a new identity.

AJ continues to eat his clam chowder as Deeks pressed on with the story..

"Things would have been fine, if Hetty hadn't hatched the plan to keep me, Callen and Sam safe by getting us arrested. Granger ended up getting stabbed, and got her second wind to come after me. When Kensi was kidnapped by that psycho Ferris, I made a deal with Whiting to tell her the truth if she would let me out to find Kensi. When Whiting was shot by Carl Brown, I thought she was dying and I told her what happened. I am not proud of what I did, but Boyle needed to be stopped. Whiting recovered and now is blackmailing me to help her take down my supervisor, Lt. Bates."

"Roger Bates?"

"Yeah. He was Army Intelligence back in the day."

"I know him. What does Whiting want with him?"

"She says she has info that Bates is dirty. I don't believe it. So I agreed to help her so I can clear his name. I could use your help and guidance and maybe for you to be my lawyer. Kensi knows everything, obviously." He looks at her, leans in and kisses her on the cheek and looks into her eyes. "I promised her, no more secrets." Kensi kisses Deeks back who then turns back to the admiral. "We are thinking of including the wonder twins but I wanted to meet with you first and get your thoughts. I also don't know when or if Hetty is coming back. And honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about her. I know you two are close." Deeks finishes and slumps down, exhausted, but relieved to have had gotten everything out.

Kensi looks at the admiral. "We could really use your help. I won't lose him. We are prepared to fight this alone, but I think having someone watching our backs is necessary and a good thing."

AJ eats the last the spoonful of his chowder, puts down his spoon, uses his napkin to wipe his mouth and places it back on this lap. He takes a long look at the couple. They have been through so much, just in this last year. He had been less than thrilled with Henrietta when she had most of the team arrested. He admired Deeks. He read his file when he first came to OSP. A lawyer, a detective and liaison who holds his own with a highly skilled team of federal agents. His arrest and conviction record was impressive and his NCIS file was equally so. How he survived the torture at the hands of Isaak Sidorov was beyond comprehension. Henrietta does know talent when she sees it.

"Ok, I'm in. Roger Bates is a good friend. Set up a meet with him and the three of us. A place like this but not here, as much as I liked the food, we need to keep moving around. Hold off on the meerkats, yeah Granger told me that one, I will let you know when we need them. And good call on assuming everything is bugged. Might be a good idea to get some burn phones for us for now. Also, as for your feelings about Henrietta, she hasn't always done things I agree with. I think she's made some serious missteps, especially with you. That is between you and her and has no bearing on my helping the two of you."

AJ watches the two partners. He is not sure what Shay Mosely is up to, but separating these two is a big mistake. It also may be time for Deeks to sign those papers to join NCIS officially. But he doesn't want to leave Bates defenseless. Well, good thing he is hanging in Los Angeles for awhile. Retirement is for old folks. It's time to get back in the game.

Deeks watches Kensi make a mental shopping list. God, he loves her. She will keep him anchored. And the admiral will help him think straight. Maybe together they can get through this.

It's going to be an interesting fall.


	12. Chapter 12

Hi - Just a little post-ep for "The Silo" to get me moving again. Hope you enjoy.

" _You're my world"_

They stood there wrapped tightly in each other's arms, emotions swirling around them.

 _Love_

 _Anger_

 _Gratitude_

 _Frustration_

 _Pain_

 _Relief_

 _Love_

It always came back to Love.

Kensi was the first to move. She leaned back and looked into his eyes. She saw the storm and it wasn't just about what had happened today. It was a culmination of Sidorov, Syria, Internal Affairs, Whiting, Ferris, Michelle's death, Hetty, Moseley and Kensi. She knows he was about at the end of his rope. He can see a life without badges and guns. He also knows she is not quite there yet, but, God, she is starting to see the pathway there.

She is brought out of her thoughts by his voice. "Kens, we don't have to decide anything right this minute, but did I hear you right?"

Kensi looks down but then right back into his eyes. "Yeah, I think I might be ready to think about a Plan B for us. I had to lie to Kevin Miller's sister. I said that I had a baby to connect with her but the thing was, I found myself wishing I did. In the past, I've told that lie hundreds of times. But ever since the case we were on a couple of years ago with the triplets and then my accident but most importantly because of you, I. . . ." She looked down, trying to keep her tears from spilling over.

Deeks pulled her closer. "Shh. Baby, please don't cry. We're both exhausted. Let's go home, crawl into bed and get some sleep. I'm sorry that I upset you. We have time and as long as we keep talking, we'll be fine. I love you to the moon and back. You're my everything and nothing is going to change that."

Kensi kissed Deeks and hugged him tight again. He was her world and together they would figure out what's next.

They always did.


End file.
